To my Dad-In-Waiting on Father’s Day,
Our journey to parenthood has had unexpected twists and turns that we never could have predicted, but I am so glad you are the one on this journey with me. This Father’s Day I want to celebrate you, and be thankful for the wonderful Dad-in-waiting you are, instead of focusing on what we don’t have yet.
Thank-you for going to the doctor’s appointments. They can be uncomfortable, time consuming, and exhausting. It takes time out of your day that sometimes you don’t have to give. You may not realize how much it comforts and calms me to have you in the room, but your presence makes the appointments infinitely easier to bear.
Thank you for encouraging me. When you tell others how I am your hero for taking so many shots, I feel noticed and affirmed. When you thank me for putting my body through so many painful procedures, I feel seen and encouraged. Your words of acknowledgement warm my heart and give me strength to continue pushing forward.
Thank-you for sacrificing financially for our future child. The money we have spent pursuing parenthood could have bought other experiences and things that you really wanted. You put those dreams on hold, so that we could have opportunities to bring a child into our family. You are already prioritizing our future family, and I could not adore you more for it.
Thank-you for enduring embarrassing moments. There have been many embarrassing situations and conversations you’ve had to endure, but you pushed through like a champ. The tests you had to take, filing “the cup,” the results you heard read, the weird conversation(s) you had with family, and the list goes on and on. None of it you wanted to do, but all of it you were willing to do to build the future we have always dreamed of.
Thank-you for tolerating my hormonal imbalances. Thank-you for understanding that fertility drugs can morph the most docile delicate flower of a person into a fire-breathing WWF dragon. Even though my behavior might have been grounds for asylum enrollment, you persevered and loved me through it all. You deserve a medal of honor, or at least a participation ribbon for enduring it.
Thank-you for acknowledging how hard this is. On bad days, it is so comforting to be able to vent to you. You understand. Infertility has been hard, discouraging, emotional, and draining. Some days I don’t need sugar coating, sunshine or rainbows, I’ve just needed you to hold my hand and agree, “this sucks”.
Thank-you for engaging in the hard conversations. Infertility has introduced a plethora of topics we never wanted to consider or discuss. The hours of discussing options, navigating our different viewpoints, and reconciling conflict takes a toll on you. I am so thankful that you see the end goal and are willing to discuss, share, listen, consider, and empathize so well with me.
Thank-you for taking action. You went to the doctor’s appointment, you filled out the paperwork, you paid the bills, you picked up the prescription, you notarized the forms, and you drove me home from the hospital. You didn’t just sit on the sidelines, you were actively involved in the process. You engaged alongside of me, my partner and greatest supporter.
I know I can’t do this without you, but I wouldn’t want to either. You have been my rock, my champion, my encourager, my friend, and my love every minute of this process. Thank-you for being the best Baby-Daddy-In-Waiting that I could have ever hoped for.
Blog written by Charis Johnson, co-founder of NRFA.
For more help with the waiting, Waiting in Hope Infertility aims to be a source of consistent help, encouragement, and a resource for all things infertility but most importantly, HOPE.