NRFA Matches Q&A

We’ve Matched! What’s Next?

Two parents viewing adoption registry for child adoption

You have posted a profile, communicated with a family, discovered a connection, and agreed to move forward. You couldn’t be more excited about your embryo adoption or donation, and you feel like there should be a major life event benchmark involved like a ring….or a party…or a cake.  Here are a few tips for a speedy and seamless transfer:

1. Celebrate Your Embryo Adoption or Donation Match. 

First of all, the team at NRFA firmly believes that there should ALWAYS be cake to celebrate, and secondly, we would love the chance to celebrate this momentous occasion with you. You are the reason we are so devoted to our work, so please take a minute to email your matching story and then withhold judgement as we jump up on our desks, throw some papers in the air, and high-five each other. Yes, we really do that. (Email support@nrfa.org with matching updates)

2. Keep Calm and Press On.

You will most likely hit a speed bump along the way. A nurse will tell you a certain test is mandatory or a clinic will give you a different answer to the question you asked them last week. Expect something like to happen and you will be less flustered when it does. Take refuge in the fact that there are hundreds of clinics out there that would be happy to perform a transfer with adopted/donated embryos AND these embryos are your legal property. Can a mechanic tell you what you have to do with your car? No – it’s not his personal property. In the same way, a clinic cannot hold your embryos hostage. You have final say. This is your embryo adoption journey.

3. Begin the Medical-Shuffle.

Call the clinics involved and ask them questions about their process and policies BEFORE you tell them what you are planning to do. Gather information from your clinic, share this information with your donor/recipient, and then together formulate a plan on how you want to approach them. Some clinics will tell you that they don’t participate in directed donations. Fine – no worries. Ship the embryos in the original donors name to a clinic that will participate in a directed donation. Remember, the nursing staff you are speaking with has never been to law school. They may misquote the laws and misunderstand how Embryo Adoption/Donation actually works. They need extra-grace and patience. A happy nurse is much more willing to work with you than one that has just had Legal 101 screamed at her over the phone.

4. Ask for Help.

Feel free to reach out to the team at NRFA with questions you may have concerning embryo adoption or donation. We’d be happy to help if we can. Please disregard the cheering and high-fiving in the background.